Heather McDonald is fucking funny. She’s the gorgeous girl next door who gets all the jokes – even the ones about herself. Heather’s top rated ITUNES podcast “JUICY SCOOP with Heather McDonald” is downloaded over 1 MILLION times per month and if you’re not listening to it, then you’re really missing out on some of the most random and spontaneously hilarious exchanges.

She recently debuted her first Showtime Stand-up Special “I DON’T MEAN TO BRAG”. It’s also available on NETFLIX. She was staff writer, story producer and regular on E!’s top rated show ‘CHELSEA LATELY for its entire 7 year run. She starred in AFTER LATELY, a mockumentary series on E! for its 3 successful seasons. Heather has also hosted TLC’s – “ALL ABOUT SEX.”

Heather has been a featured as a celebrity guest on Bravo’s Watch What Happens, Flipping Out and Real Housewives of Orange County and Beverly Hills; Keeping up with the Kardashians, Logo’s Rupaul’s Drag Race and Rupaul’s Big Gay Game Show.

Heather’s debut book, YOU’LL NEVER BLUE BALL IN THIS TOWN AGAIN, spent seven weeks on the New York Times best-seller list, and climbed to the #1 position on Amazon’s “Bestsellers in Entertainment” list. McDonald released her follow up to Blue Balls in February 2013 titled MY INAPPROPRIATE LIFE: Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults which also became a national bestseller.

Heather was also a contributing writer and had featured roles in major motion films “White Chicks” and “Dance Flick” by The Wayans Brothers.

Heather returns to San Francisco with two shows at Cobb’s Comedy Club [915 Columbus Ave] on Friday, September 22nd and Saturday, September 23rd.. Tickets are available online at CobbsComedy.com.

Don’t you miss the good old days when you could watch E! and Bravo all day and not have to worry about a missile attack from North Korea or a flood brought on by climate change or… [Laughs] I know! I’ve forgotten what that was even like, to just spend my days catching up with Kardashians. Not anymore.

I honestly feel like we are really living in a new un-funny era. Me too. I used to jokingly say ‘live each day like it’s your last.’ Now, I say it with some seriousness. Like any moment Kim Jun whats-his-face could just vaporize us all.

[Laughs] When he announced that he had a missile that could hit the West Coast, San Francisco was like ‘Oh, he’ll totally aim for us… we’re so much better than LA.’ [Laughs] You know things are bad when you start having this discussion about who is more hated in the world [Laughs]. Let’s see, who deserves to be blown up more? Hmmm… well, people really do hate Hollywood… but Silicon Valley is also annoying. It’s really a toss up of who deserves to be blown to pieces. [Laughs]

I’m actually going to Kona, Hawaii, tomorrow. My friend has a house there and someone said ‘You know that Hawaii is where he will aim first.’ And I thought ‘Good! At least I’ll be on the beach in a beautiful place when it all comes down.’

I want to be instantly vaporized. I don’t want to be left to wander the earth. I’ve always said if we can all just go together, that’s ok. I do not want to be left with the walking dead. I don’t want to be in a bomb shelter eating gross food and shitting in a bucket. I don’t want to be looking for clean water and trying to keep my skin on. [Laughs] But when you look at the homeless situation in LA now, it’s like we’re in the apocalypse already.

Oh! Wait until you get to San Francisco. It’s really bad here too. Oh, I’ve been traveling a lot and I can tell you, it’s bad everywhere.

It’s crazy, Heather! They have camps and they even have these micro-economies happening. One of the tents was a bar – and you could go in a get a drink. One tent was selling all the shit they’ve stolen out of cars. [Laughs] Stop! Seriously?! Shopping at the homeless retail outlet? That is hysterical. I wonder if they’ve got any comedy clubs?! [Laughs] Maybe I can get a gig at the comedy tent. Wait, never mind. They probably have no money and they will have to pay me with like stolen bicycle parts. [Laughs] Seriously though, I think the police have just given up. There are two many of them and the situation is just getting worse.

Given the politics in the country, this feels like a perfect time for a comedy show. Have you changed your act to reflect the new political landscape? You know, I have a few funny observations about the state of the world – but I made it a policy to not bash Trump or spend my time giving that any more oxygen. Even before the election, when things were getting ugly, I felt like I needed to remove myself a little from it all.   I wanted to be healthy about it. Otherwise I would go crazy. But even with Instagram – I stopped sending all my ‘thoughts and prayers’ for whatever new tragedy was on the list. [Laughs] You know? What good are my thoughts and prayers? I’ll just donate some money to a worthwhile cause. I can help in real ways. Sometimes I think people just need a break from all the horrible shit that’s happening.   My show is an escape from that — and I like my pop culture and relationships and dating and funny stuff.

Do you feel like politics is impacting pop culture a bit thought? Oh, absolutely! I was watching the big fight between Mayweather and McGregor and all I could think to myself was ‘please let Mayweather win. Because if the Irish guy wins then the White Supremacists are going to be all fired up.’   Then I’m like, ‘why am I thinking like this?’ [Laughs]

We did go see Margaret Cho recently, and I felt like it was all politics – and it was exhausting. She makes you think, and I agree with her points and her perspective – but sometimes you just want to laugh, you know? I love Margaret and she’s a genius, but I move around on so many topics that are about life in general and observations and stories about my own kids and husband. It’s a personal show but it’s relatable.   But look at what happened to Kathy Griffin…

Oh my God! I know! Even the gays turned on her! Kathy and I have the same agent and when that shit went down I called him and I was like, ‘’Listen, I’m available on New Year’s Eve if she gets fired from CNN.’ [Laughs] Because I knew it was going to happen! I knew there was going to be some fallout. I love her though and I think she’s brilliant so I know she will turn this around and come back strong. She has a great title for her next tour, it’s going to be called ‘Kathy Griffin: Laughing your head off.’ [Laughs]

[Laughs] I love it! I really love Kathy too. She’s done a lot for the gay community. I just wish she had committed to it and NOT apologized. I wish she had just said ‘Fuck it, this may be in poor taste but sometimes I can be in poor taste.’ Yeah, I also wish she hadn’t done that press conference when she talked about how she’s a victim of misogyny and she’s a victim.   I just couldn’t do the ‘poor white woman me.’ [Laughs] But you know, she doesn’t have a PR person and she was probably hanging out with her gays and they were all laughing and thought ‘Hey, this will get some attention… this will get some press.’ Well it sure did!   I just don’t think there was another person in the room to say ‘I don’t know you guys… this might not play well in rural America.’

Andersen Cooper probably was like ‘what the fuck are you doing?!’ [Laughs] He was like, ‘Don’t drag me into this!’

Let’s talk about your Podcast, Juicy Scoops! It’s so fun. It’s also actually interesting; you have some really hard-hitting stuff on there. Wait until you hear today’s show! It’s these two gay guys and one of them was a Scientologist when they met. His partner was like ‘dude, you do know that you’re in a cult, right?’ Then they go on to tell me the story of how he slowly convinced his partner to distance himself and get out of Scientology. It’s crazy.

Which just reaffirms that good dick will make you rethink your priorities. [Laughs] I know! I was being all Leah Remini and shit – I was getting the inside track on Scientology, which is batshit crazy. I love her show so much, I must admit.

Your podcast has given you a brand new audience. I have met so many new people who didn’t know me from Chelsea Lately or from other stuff, so it’s been great. I get 1.3 Million downloads per month. It’s been such a fun surprise. I started it when I had nothing else going on, but it found a great audience. People even say ‘Iran for a long time on the treadmill because I wanted to hear the rest of your podcast… I normally run for 20 minutes, but today I ran for 45 minutes.’ So, I am apparently helping people laugh AND lose weight at the same time. I’m the Jenny Craig of comedy. [Laughs]

Get Tickets Now at Cobbs Comedy Club
Friday Sep 22 / 8:00p + Sat Sep 23 / 7:30p
Special guest opener: Chris Franjola
Special VIP after parties for meet & greets and selfies after each show!

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