Be Mine. Alaska Thunderfuck.

Photographed by Mario Elias in San Francisco

“Once I was dating someone for several months.  Things started to move a bit fast, and some things weren’t adding up.  I decided it was time to break it off.  But in doing so, I didn’t realize he would lose his mind, steal my passport the day before I needed to fly to England, and subsequently try to ruin my life and career online and in any other ways he found possible.  I don’t know where he is today, but I hope he’s doing well.”

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“I’m not really wowed by grand romantic gestures.  I think the most romantic thing is consistency and stability– Being there even when things aren’t all roses and heart-shaped candy boxes.  Small gestures of kindness and thoughtfulness all year round are what makes my heart go pitter patter.”

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“I’ve been in love.  I fell in love in 1992 when I saw Batman Returns.  There was this mousy secretary named Selina and she got pushed out of a window and then came back to life as Catwoman.  I loved this woman.  I wanted to BE this woman.  I still want to be this woman.  I admire her strength, her savvy (she made that outfit out of a repurposed raincoat– talk about trash into treasure!), and her fuck-the-Patriarchy attitude was ahead of its time.  I believe she’s still out there roaming the streets of Gotham living out her final ninth life, feeding milk to cats and kicking bad men’s asses.”

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“I have an extreme aversion to going to the courthouse for any reason, so getting a permit and a blood test and filling out papers so that the government can meddle in my romantic life is not something I’m interested in doing any time soon.  However, a wedding?  A grand party where I’m wearing a giant dress and everyone I’ve ever met gets twisted and dances in fancy clothes?  That– I can do.  But I’d prefer to call it a “commitment ceremony” or something like that, like how the gay couples used to do on 90s television.”


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